addendum to last post

I sort of lost my train of thought on the last post. My point was that when someone joins a group, or is 'controlled' by a significant other, they may not really totally accept what is happening to them. But, if they start to treat others in the same fashion that they are being treated, it may be an attempt to justify what is being done to them and make them feel better about accepting what is being done to them or how they are being treated.

I will give two examples.
A woman is told to cover her face with a scarf. She doesn't like it, but does it, because she is told to do it. Secretly maybe she would like to remove the scarf. Another woman tries to tell her she is being manipulated and should remove the scarf. The first woman becomes defensive and tells the second woman SHE should be also wearing the scarf.

Is this in defense of the scarf? No. It is in defense of her own acceptance of the scarf. If she admits the other woman is correct, she is also admitting that she has allowed herself to submit, and that the person/authority who told her to submit is wrong. She ends up defending a situation she may not favor, because she does not want to face up to the fact that the authority figure is wrong and/or she doesn't want to confront that person.

Example 2
A woman is overweight and her husband "forces" her to diet and lose weight. She isn't thrilled to be coerced into losing weight, but is pleased actually to lose weight. The woman then starts getting on her friends and family members about losing weight. (Now, I totally support being fit, so don't take this as fat is fine.)
Prior to her own weight loss, she would not have been aggressive toward others regarding weight loss, but to justify her husbands behavior, she adopts it as her own. Otherwise she will have to face the fact that her husband's behavior may have slipped outside what is generally considered acceptable.

This could also be applied to churches that don't allow dancing or sleazy sales pitches. How many people have gotten into a mess and then brought their friends into the same mess? Their mental state has shifted where the lines of right and wrong, and good or bad become blurred.

I am not picking on religions or overweight people. Those are examples that are universal, and so make for easily transferable thought on how people justify behavior or act out of true character. There are so many factors on why we, in our human form, do what we do.
Is a persons attitude all about you? Mostly it is about them and what has gone on in their lives or maybe just from the event ten minutes prior to your arrival.