"Slavery and the KKK" meet "Hats"

This past weekend I appeared in a local production called “Hats.” It is loosely based on the poem by Dr. Joe Cornelius and is being performed in honor of black history month. I played first a slave catcher, then an assistant at a slave auction and finally a member of the KKK hanging a black man for looking at a white woman.

Needless to say it is not a fun set of roles, but someone has to do it. But it really is horrible. I have to keep telling myself that there is a purpose to my part, and I understand it is educational, but I really really don’t like it and it makes me very uncomfortable. I can easily say that this is not my history, and that most of my ancestors weren’t in this country during the times represented, but it still is part of the shame of our country.

I am glad that the rest of the cast (mostly black) are understanding and sympathetic and realize that it is just a role, but some of the kids have looked at me in that KKK robe and been taken aback. That makes me feel bad. Other kids think I am playing a ghost and that makes me feel bad in a different way.

It also makes me think about encounters I’ve had with racism, and I can honestly say that I have stood up against it publicly a few times and it has cost me relationships. Obviously they were relationships that were formed while not knowing the person’s inner thoughts on equality. I’ve had the same experiences with gay bashing as well. I mean, what year is it going to be when people realize that people are people?

People are born the way they are born. If that means you are straight, gay, black, white, or whatever. At least be tolerant and quiet if you can’t be accepting. But really I think it mostly just takes getting to know people who aren’t like you, and then coming to know them as people, and not as “what they are.” I was mostly always “tolerant” of gay and lesbian folks, but until I got into theater and got to know more of them did I become totally accepting. I think the same thing happened to me in the military with accepting people of other races.

Prior to that, I didn’t really know too many people of other races and was okay with them, but just didn’t have the familiarity to fully accept. that may sound a little strange, but we all evolve over time (well, most of us) and become new people. My early self would probably be boggled at what I’ve become, but it’s gradual change over time to become that which you aspire towards..

And on a totally different note, here's my latest comedy video. Sort of a "spinal tap" flavor, or "the rutles"

Best thing I ever found

I've found a lot of things over the course of my life. How to narrow this down to the "best thing ever" found?

When I went to Salt Lake City in 2007 for a USANA convention I didn't know what to expect. Well, the convention itself was pretty amazing. Great speakers, motivational talks, sales instruction; all the sort of things you would expect, plus a concert by REO Speedwagon. The concert was pretty good, but how did those guys get so old? I mean I haven't aged a day in twenty years. (thanks to premium supplements and a healthy lifestyle) OK. I've aged a bit, but those guys had some miles on them. But I digress.

After all the events were done my wife and I were walking back to our hotel and I spotted a rock in the gutter. It was a little rock. Not like Arkansas, but a little rock nonetheless. I picked it up and noticed that it was a green piece of quartz with a white stripe going through the middle of it. Now most people might ignore it, or pick it up and then put it down, but I stuck it in my pocket. I knew immediately that it was a gratitude rock.

A gratitude rock is the kind of a rock that you can put in your pocket and every time you stick your hand in there, it reminds you of everything you have going for you. If you're wearing tight trousers it may remind you that it is there even without your hand going in there. Either way you get a reminder.

The things that most people complain about aren't even worthwhile. I mean think about the last thing you were down about. Was it that your belly was aching because you haven't had a meal in two days? Was it that you had to sleep under a bridge to stay out of the rain or snow? Odds are it was because you couldn't find a parking space, or you got a ticket, or you had to work late. Or a meal at a restaurant was not up to some standard you hold dear.

Every time I start to feel down about something I try to remember that rock and think about the positive things that I have that many people around the world don't. Yes, I can access the internet at high bit rate and I have a roof over my head and eat regularly. But I also have to think that I have a wonderful wife, and loving extended family and friends who are there for me in all circumstances.

I have clothes on my back and heat in my home. Wow, I have a home to live in that has "extra" rooms and blankets and cable TV and running water. I have light to read by and books that are waiting for me. And a library system to supply me with free books, music and movies.

I have a government that mostly stays off my back. No gunfire around here or bombs exploding. I am grateful I am not in Egypt or Iraq at the moment, or in any of a hundred places at different levels of war. The food I eat would probably feed two or three people in a third world country and the food I throw away because it's gone bad before I get to it would probably feed another.

What is the best thing I've found? It's not really that rock, but it is the things that I sometimes take for granted that the rock reminds me of.

Writing Blahs

I know you have to write "for yourself" and not for others. It's like losing weight. If you're going to go on a diet, get in shape, whatever, it has to be an internal choice, not a choice to please someone else, but you know sometimes you need approval or validation or whatever. Especially when other aspects of your life are not going well.

I've been unemployed for a while now and really searching hard for a job, and not finding one. So you add that to the fact that I am feeling like my self-esteem is drowning regarding my writing, validation-wise anyway, and things are not looking up.

Money is tight, so I can't easily afford to mail out my screenplay to someone who requested it. (a production company) Or afford to print hard copies, and mail them.. grrr. And then I get a short unemployment check, and a chance to audition for a tv pilot, but I don't want to spend money on gas to get there, for a chance to earn 250 over five days and maybe the pilot gets picked up...