Life - Changing in an Instant

This morning I was filming some workout tips for another blog that I maintain. Interestingly enough (or perhaps ironically enough, as I don’t know how totally interested you will be) I managed to twist my back just a tiny bit and now I am bent over double in pain. Why was it ironic, you may ask. I was doing a piece on working out and talking about avoiding injury during a work out. Nice, huh?

The injury occurred before I began filming. I was moving the bench that I was going to be lying on for the lifting portion of the demonstration. Unbeknownst to me my son had a few dumb bells on the floor by the bench and when I went to move the bench there was an extra 25 pounds. An unknown obstacle and an unsuspecting force…and down I went. *groan*

Why do I share my pain? Not to gain sympathy, although that would be appreciated, but to say, we never know from one moment to the next what is going to hit us. So if you are putting things off until tomorrow, remember that tomorrow may not come, or it may find you in an entirely different state of being.
Quite a feather in her cap

Quite a feather in her cap

One of my favorite quotes from Janis Joplin is “Tomorrow never comes man. It’s all the same f*ing day” There was something in there about cats, too, but I’ll leave that to Janis. She was a person who embraced life and didn’t give a crap about what people thought. She did what she thought she ought to do, and if you didn’t like it, well, too bad.

She also had a lot of issues, but I’ll also leave that alone. The point is my back spasms, a temporary thing, could have just as easily been something different. Situations arise and some of them we have no control over, so you know, don’t put things off until tomorrow. It’s all the same day, and we need to take care of things now.

This is rambling a bit, and that I’ll admit, but if there is something you need to say or do, take care of it. Appreciate what you have and what you could have if you would just reach out and bridge that gap, hold out a hand to someone that you know and let them know you are there, and you care.

Appreciation and gratitude are two of the biggest pieces to the mindset of success.
My "Other" Blog

Laid Off - Heading to a New Day

Thursday I got laid off. This came as a total shock to me, although probably it shouldn’t have. I was told, don’t know if this is true or not, that I was just the first of a small group that was being let go. I was talking a vacation day (comp time) Friday, so I was first in line. Everyone who gets laid off, gets laid off on Fridays, or so I am told. Except me. So when is a three day weekend, not a three day weekend? When it’s the start of an extended lay off.

Not extended, because there is going to be no recall. Now my side efforts are building, but not making money yet. We are close to breakthrough on a number of projects, so I can hope that perhaps soon, I won’t need a traditional job at all. Time will tell.

The funny thing about the layoff is that I had joked with Deb about quitting and going to the unseminar in Texas with her. I said let’s live on the edge, I’ll just quit and go with you. I also had a dream that I was going to be laid off. I should trust my instincts.

I was already putting in applications prior to getting laid off, so perhaps I did know that it might be coming. I had been handed the job of safety manager, which I had emphatically told them I did not want. I told them that when I was hired. I told them that at my review. Then they gave that position to me, on top of the training job. Same pay, of course, as they said and others have said to me “You’re lucky to have a job.” Well, that’s done with now.

I don’t have sour grapes. I offered to do training for them as a consultant, and I think they are going to take me up on that. Of course it depends what they are going to pay me whether I do it or not, but the bridges aren’t burned. Walls turned sideways are bridges. Have you ever heard that saying? It’s a quote from Angela Davis. I am looking at this as a bridge for sure. A bridge to a life I’ll be more happy in.

It’s also said that when a door closes a window opens. I have always been a glass is half full kind of guy. How many more clichés can I throw in here?

If anyone knows of any training gigs, let me know. I can teach OSHA stuff, Forklifts, Cranes, Communications, MS Office. Most of those I have certificates to teach, with the exception of office, but that I have been using effectively for many years and can teach basics of it very easily. I am mostly looking for consultant type work. One time or repetitive gigs, and I am also open to a ‘real job.’

Life is good.

$4500 in dental bills?

In an article on CNN it was stated that 7 in 10 Americans think the health care system needs major restructuring. No shit. And I mean that as, no shit it needs restructuring.

I am employed, at least for the time being, and have to pay into the system for medical and dental insurance for me and my family. Any given trip can turn our whole financial status into a juggling act. Example, my youngest daughter had some issues and needed to get blood work. The doctor decided that, not me. So we take her to get blood work and then we get a bill for $400. Ouch, WTF? What am I paying for health insurance for, if not to cover things the doctor orders? To add insult to injury, the results were borderline, so they order another batch. You know the people ordering another round of tests aren’t paying for the tests.

I go to the dentist. Studies have shown that dental infections actually have huge impact on overall health. I personally know two people who were sickly, and had all their teeth removed, got dentures and started enjoying a vastly improved state of well being. So dental care is important. As if you didn’t already know that.

I go to the dentist and get an exam, and afterwords they take me into a back room where I meet with a financial consultant to figure out how to pay for around $4,500 worth of repairs and stuff. $4500 dollars? And my teeth aren’t in bad shape. What’s wrong with that picture? They offer multi-year financing packages. Mind you that $4500 isn’t for my family, it’s just for me.

I had a co-pay there plus an up-front fee, totally around $200. That was for my exam. Then they sent a bill for another $100. I did mention I have dental insurance, right? I pay for a premium plan, which covers almost nothing whatsoever.

The point is, the system is broken. I can’t really afford to go to the dentist and the extended doctor bills prevent any sort of savings, or drain any savings I may have had. The punch line is that I have health insurance. What the hell do all the people do who are unemployed, employed part time, disability or whatever do?

There is debate if we as a country need to change things. I see people holding signs at right wing rallys saying “keep your change.” Well, for 8 years the Republicans didn’t do a whole lot to address all this. Now the shit hits the fan as the new President tries to do something to take care of this. People say we can’t afford it, but we don’t have an option. We pay for healthcare through insurance premiums and taxes anyway, we need to define it, and make it so everyone can afford to get the care they need.

Here’s the link to the article, if you’re interested.

An Odd One

This has been a really odd week. I was exhausted after working 10+ hours on Saturday (First time I’ve worked a Saturday in at least five years) and that surprised me. I used to work 7 days a week at the steel mill and never was so tired after a shift. Deb and I then went to visit some friends for dinner and we didn’t get home until around 11. Sorta late, but after that day I was dragging.

Sunday I was supposed to have rehearsal for Dutch Blitzkrieg, and I just couldn’t do it. I hardly wanted to get out of my chair, and couldn’t see any energy available, so I bailed on that. I almost never miss rehearsals. So I go to work Monday and I feel OK. I have a busy day and eat a burger leftover from Sunday’s dinner and around 130 or 2 I start feeling really bad. Doubled over in pain. I think, seriously, that I am having a heart attack. It doesn’t abate. After about fifteen minutes I leave work, without a word to anyone.

I am clutching my gut and feel like I ought to vomit. This is for the whole drive home. I am constantly looking for where I can pull over in case I do have a heart attack. I am seriously feeling very ill. I get home and eventually start to throw up, just a little bit. I do this on and off for hours. I’m figuring that I had food poisoning, although I couldn’t swear to it.

In the back of my mind I am hoping to feel a little better because I have an audition for Catch 22 at 7pm. By six I am feeling a little better. Pain has scaled back a couple notches and I am not heaving anymore. So Deb and I go to auditions. (the show must go on) And they go well. I am cast, but haven’t heard what parts yet. It’s a multi-part show with all the actors taking multiple roles. Deb is also in the cast.

Tuesday I wake up and still have this stomach pain, but it is minor compared to the day before. I decide to take a vacation day and sleep in until almost 11. That is pretty much unheard of for me. Guess my body needed to recuperate. I am also preparing for a paranormal meeting for Tuesday night. getting some evidence together. We have two hunts to reveal and evidence is not falling into place. There is a lot of stuff to go through, and I am not in the mood, but it has to be done.

We have the meeting and it goes well. I actually have people wanting to help with the editing and evidence compilation. That is what I needed to hear. I was feeling overwhelmed with it. I have been doing all of that for the past year with little help. It was wearing on me.

it's a late night

You know, here's the question. If someone tells you that you've been drinking too much on a given night (not on an ongoing basis) what do you do? Do you act as if that was absurd, meaning that you simply go about your business in a 'normal' fashion, or do you think about it way too much and try to do the unexpected, which probably is what someone would do who had been drinking too much?

Not hypothetical. Real. Even in the event that I had X number of drinks, yet I recall Y number. With both people having Z number and no third party to authenticate, what is the proper protocol? I have no clue. My first inclination is to go for a walk, which I have done numerous times in the past. Yet I have had a terrible day. I have today felt as bad about work (J.O.B.) as ever in my life, and nearly quit at one point, or asked for a week off without pay, which I am sure would be viewed as some sort of anomaly.

No one does that. So I was feeling really down. To the point where I told people 'sort of' what I was feeling. Not the total picture, because that would have gone over like a ton of bricks and I am sure reported to someone or another and that may have been the end of this employment. I simply told a few people that I was at the end of my rope, meaning over my head and needing help. That's what you are supposed to do, right?

I went to HR (on the phone) and said , you know, I need to do "this" and I am feeling overwhelmed. What do you think I should do? who do you think I should turn to? I am talking to you, feeling I really don't need help, but just to vent." And she let me vent a bit and then I went on and did what I needed to do. It's my job, so I did it.

But I was feeling badly and ended up chasing my blues away with a bit of Old Grandad. Also still feeling in control of my facilities but not supported at this moment. So now I am heading to bed, and not out for a midnight stroll. Perhaps this is coherent, but maybe not. Perhaps...

Mid life crisis? or just time for a freakin change?

What sort of person decides to a serious change in their lives after living in a certain fashion, following some sort of plan for a period of time? Some people may think that I am describing a midlife crisis and you may be right. I really don't know I am just posing the question for consideration. Any thoughts/comments would certainly be welcome. I could even see adding a forum to this website, if there would be any interest. Wouldn't have to be on this particular topic but any esoteric sort of question that people would want to bat around. But that's another topic altogether.

Back to the discussion at hand. There are people who graduate high school (or perhaps don't even make it that far) who don't really plan out their lives so much as just live it day by day. There may be some planning, like going to a trade school or starting as a laborer at some factory or with a tradesman, hoping to move up and learn skills that can earn them better money, but then there are people who just drift from job to job, complaining about the unfairness of the 'minimum wage' which isn't enough to sustain a reasonable standard of living, unless your standard is pretty darn low.

I am not putting those folks down, and I am glad for them (unless they are surly while they serve me. (You made your bed, now lie in it) Someone has to do those jobs and I am glad it's not me.

I did my time as a laborer and working my way up the ladder at the steel mill, until I was just tired of the business, and the corporate culture and the politics of it all, and then I quit. Perhaps not the wisest move, but I felt inside that I needed to move on or I would end up there for a lifetime. Which is an OK choice for some people.

That gets me back on track with the topic here. What drives change? Most people are scared of change. They don't want to deal with it, they don't want to hear about it, they just put up a wall. Unless it's a gradual change that they feel comfortable with, or it's their idea.

Go to someone doing a job at a factory and propose a change to their work routine. Most people are going to fight the change. Go to that same person and ask what they think could be changed to make the job easier or better, and the attitude shifts. Suddenly change is a good thing. But this is just a minor example of change.

What if you go to that same person and tell them, here's a six month severance package, you need to find something else to do. Now you are going to have two different reactions. One is going to be the person who was sick of their job and really look at how the severance can be used to change their future, the other person will look at it as a six month paid holiday and then look for similar work when the free ride is over. That life is not changing.

You don't need to tell me that there are multiple other options, I am just looking at the first one really. Or in my case, someone who is ready to move on and the severance package isn't needed. People either start side jobs or businesses to try their hand at something, or to begin to build a sole proprietorship business. Or they look to freelance or do something that gives them pleasure and an income. Can you be happy earning less, but doing something you love? Could the thing you love turn out to be more lucrative than what you are doing now. Do you want change?

What is the mental mindset of someone who suddenly decides, yes, I am moving on from this. I never planned for "this" to be what I am about, and I am making the effort to change my circumstances.

Is it night school or is it getting involved with the local small business mentoring group? What causes the shift?

For me it was the thought (and this is why I think "midlife crisis" although crisis is really the wrong term, IMO) that unless I change NOW, I am not going to have time to do the things I want to with my life. I am about at midpoint, or a bit beyond, so what now?

Are you the kind of person who can make a change? Do you have to wait for children to be grown? Can you move to another state or country if that's what it takes? Can you leave the familiar behind?

It's not just the local coffee shop or your neighborhood. It's a lifetime of friends and relationships. Do people who drift more drift more easily? Is the fact that I have already made multiple transitions make the nex one easier? I know you can build new relationships. For some that building process is easier. For me, I find the local community theater and suddenly I have twenty new 'friends' that I can cultivate and weed through and probably find a few choice ones that can be nurtured.

Can you change? Do you want to change? How do you want to change? is it easier to think of the change as growth? How do you want to grow? Or do you want to grow?

Are you at a place in your life where things are looking so good that personal growth is not desired? I have heard once you stop growing you start dieing. I think that may be true for most people, but some people are happy in the role they have either chosen or have fallen into by chance.

Second City Training and lotsa stuff

way too much has happened recently to blog it all. Biggest news is that I completed Improv training and Sketch Writing at Second City in Chicago! woo

Met a ton of excellent people and got to know Adam and Andi better. Very interesting trip.
bit of my sketch writing (draft)
yesterday in writing we did an exercise where we deconstructed a fairy tale and then wrote a sequel. Mine was Goldilocks and the sequel was this ten point thing

1. Goldi’s mother Ravenlocks hears about the slaughter of her daughter

2. RL finds a gunsmith and test fires weapons

3. Bazookas were too loud

4. Lasers were too bright

5. chooses a M1A1 rifle with 30 round banana clip and M203 grenade launcher

6. finds cabin and kicks in door like she’s Chuck Norris

7. spray kitchen with all 30 rounds turning mama and baby bear into ground bear meat

8. drop rolls into living room and blast grenade at Papa bear. blows him to smitherines

9. fires up their grill

10. has bear bar b q

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went to see a cerazy number of acts while I was there. One highlight was Susan Messing and Frank Caliando. Amazing long form show at THE ANNOYANCE.
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I also wanted to add a link to my Headshot/resume. feel free to pass this on to anyone looking to hire a dedicated professional gifted actor and comic genius. (that would be me) Oh, did I mention modest? And a total team player. call me.