What sort of person decides to a serious change in their lives after living in a certain fashion, following some sort of plan for a period of time? Some people may think that I am describing a midlife crisis and you may be right. I really don't know I am just posing the question for consideration. Any thoughts/comments would certainly be welcome. I could even see adding a forum to this website, if there would be any interest. Wouldn't have to be on this particular topic but any esoteric sort of question that people would want to bat around. But that's another topic altogether.
Back to the discussion at hand. There are people who graduate high school (or perhaps don't even make it that far) who don't really plan out their lives so much as just live it day by day. There may be some planning, like going to a trade school or starting as a laborer at some factory or with a tradesman, hoping to move up and learn skills that can earn them better money, but then there are people who just drift from job to job, complaining about the unfairness of the 'minimum wage' which isn't enough to sustain a reasonable standard of living, unless your standard is pretty darn low.
I am not putting those folks down, and I am glad for them (unless they are surly while they serve me. (You made your bed, now lie in it) Someone has to do those jobs and I am glad it's not me.
I did my time as a laborer and working my way up the ladder at the steel mill, until I was just tired of the business, and the corporate culture and the politics of it all, and then I quit. Perhaps not the wisest move, but I felt inside that I needed to move on or I would end up there for a lifetime. Which is an OK choice for some people.
That gets me back on track with the topic here. What drives change? Most people are scared of change. They don't want to deal with it, they don't want to hear about it, they just put up a wall. Unless it's a gradual change that they feel comfortable with, or it's their idea.
Go to someone doing a job at a factory and propose a change to their work routine. Most people are going to fight the change. Go to that same person and ask what they think could be changed to make the job easier or better, and the attitude shifts. Suddenly change is a good thing. But this is just a minor example of change.
What if you go to that same person and tell them, here's a six month severance package, you need to find something else to do. Now you are going to have two different reactions. One is going to be the person who was sick of their job and really look at how the severance can be used to change their future, the other person will look at it as a six month paid holiday and then look for similar work when the free ride is over. That life is not changing.
You don't need to tell me that there are multiple other options, I am just looking at the first one really. Or in my case, someone who is ready to move on and the severance package isn't needed. People either start side jobs or businesses to try their hand at something, or to begin to build a sole proprietorship business. Or they look to freelance or do something that gives them pleasure and an income. Can you be happy earning less, but doing something you love? Could the thing you love turn out to be more lucrative than what you are doing now. Do you want change?
What is the mental mindset of someone who suddenly decides, yes, I am moving on from this. I never planned for "this" to be what I am about, and I am making the effort to change my circumstances.
Is it night school or is it getting involved with the local small business mentoring group? What causes the shift?
For me it was the thought (and this is why I think "midlife crisis" although crisis is really the wrong term, IMO) that unless I change NOW, I am not going to have time to do the things I want to with my life. I am about at midpoint, or a bit beyond, so what now?
Are you the kind of person who can make a change? Do you have to wait for children to be grown? Can you move to another state or country if that's what it takes? Can you leave the familiar behind?
It's not just the local coffee shop or your neighborhood. It's a lifetime of friends and relationships. Do people who drift more drift more easily? Is the fact that I have already made multiple transitions make the nex one easier? I know you can build new relationships. For some that building process is easier. For me, I find the local community theater and suddenly I have twenty new 'friends' that I can cultivate and weed through and probably find a few choice ones that can be nurtured.
Can you change? Do you want to change? How do you want to change? is it easier to think of the change as growth? How do you want to grow? Or do you want to grow?
Are you at a place in your life where things are looking so good that personal growth is not desired? I have heard once you stop growing you start dieing. I think that may be true for most people, but some people are happy in the role they have either chosen or have fallen into by chance.
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